Everything's been drawing to a close here.  The JPR teams are all done (the music school will be taking over).  And my GPR worship team is down to two sets a week, and will be completely done by August.  But I'm leaving next week.

Why?  A timing issue.  At the end of July, I'll be going on a mission trip to Honduras with my home church in Illinois.  (My mom will be on that trip, too, which is awesome!)  I also really need to start looking for work.  It makes the most sense to look for work at home, where I don't have to pay rent.

I was offered a job at a grocery store here, but that would only pay minimum wage and it would definitely be a struggle.

I do think it is time to move on from IHOP for sure, but I've fallen in love with Kansas City.  Since my hours at IHOP have been so few, I've been spending a lot of time outside of "the bubble" and getting to know people actually from here.  And I have fallen in love with these people.  I initially came here to be a part of IHOP, but now I want to stay to be a part of Kansas City.  And, more specifically, up in the Blue Springs/Indepenence area.  If I do get to come back, that's where I would want to live.

But God would need to open up a place with dirt cheap rent and/or an amazing job, etc.  A garage would be necessary, too (KC gets nasty ice storms in the winter, and lots of hail in the summer.  You really can't live without a garage.).  Of course, not being with IHOP anymore means not being under a non-profit, which means support raising wouldn't really work anymore (because gifts wouldn't be tax deductible, etc.).  So, pray for a good job.

I would want to be working full-time either way, as that's the best way to reach a community (you have a "fit" and a "place" in the community, so people have a context to interact with you, you know?).  But there are other non-traditional things I would still like to pursue as ministry, especially with Parkour.  And having the freedom to travel a bit would be helpful.

There is also a big chance that I will be (finally) moving overseas in a few short years.  Part of the reason I'm going home is to pursue that and speak with family and supporters about it.

Please pray for me as I'm packing this week.  I need to leave this place spic-n-span and there are just not enough hours in the day!

I just need lots of prayer in this transition, period.  Thanks, guys!

He really is a good shepherd.  Annoyingly so sometimes.  He knows how to guide us and steer us in the right direction; but. because we're such stupid sheep [who miss the obvious cues and road signs], He sometimes has to resort to uncomfortable means to get us out of our comfort.

Here has been His rod-and-staff approach with me lately:

1.  Rent is due Monday and I'm about $50-$75 short.
2.  I cannot find a job for the life of me.  I've looked everywhere.  No open doors.
3.  I'm almost out of groceries.
4.  Almost all my service hours at IHOP are being cut.  On June 30 I will have no more morning hours at all.  And then by August all my hours at the Global Prayer Room will be done.  I think our team will still have 1 to 3 sets a week, though.  Maybe.  Basically, I'm getting laid off, except that I wasn't paid in the first place.
5.  For some reason, this is all stressing me out and I haven't been sleeping well at all.


So, basically, I'm completely broke and I feel completely aimless.  "Ba-a-a-a-ah! Help! B-a-a-a-ah!"

I could just sit in the Prayer Room all day (I'm running out of places to apply at), but that doesn't pay the bills.  Or is that what God wants me to do right now, even if just for a couple days?  Do I really trust God?  But, then again, I don't want to test Him.  And I don't want to be an ostrich about this.

Maybe this is all a sign that it's time to move on?  But where?  Back to Minnesota?  Back to Chicago?  Somewhere else entirely?  Is it time to go to Asia yet?  I'm a dumb sheep, remember, God?  What are You getting at?  What's the point?

A big point, I'm sure, is trust.  And God often uses our circumstances to help us reevaluate our priorities.  Even though I've been at IHOP, my prayer life lately has been skim.  And I lost my old Bible last week at the Prayer Room and haven't been able to find it.  I put in my hours, but my heart's not really engaged.  I was getting comfortable and settled in, which can be good, but in this case led to complacency.

He originally led me here (I think...) as a major step in my preparation for overseas mission work.  A season devoted to prayer, studying the Word, learning to wait on the Lord (and all that that means)... It's been really refining in a lot of ways.  You can't spend a lot of time with God and NOT have issues come up, and not learn a lot about who He is and who you are in Christ.  But I got distracted by the work of the ministry itself, and by other hobbies and interests and "building my own life" here...

And now I'm getting reawakened.  When a muscle or limb falls asleep from sitting too long, it's really uncomfortable when you first start using it again.  So, my "prayer muscles" and "faith muscles" are all miserable pins and needles right now.

Sometimes I wish I could just get comfortable and forget my calling to ministry and just be rich and live in a nice house and only be nice to people when I want to be.

Sometimes I wish I could be my own boss and God could just give me a blank check of approval to do whatever I want.

Sometimes I wish I really did know better than an Eternal Creator what was best for me.

But He's serious about preparing me for ministry.  And whenever I get sidetracked, He has his ways of getting me back on course.  Ugh, but it still sucks sometimes.

Our team filled in last night for the 8pm intercession meeting.  It was incredible.  I had never gone to this set before, but apparently every 8pm-10pm on Sundays, they pray for college campuses and their student-led prayer meetings.

IHOP has a ministry called the Luke 18 Project that launched about two years ago.  Basically, it involves visiting college campuses around the country to train, encourage, and offer resources for student-led prayer initiatives.  The IHOP staff leaders of the the Luke 18 Project are each overseeing a different region of the United States.

It is these leaders who get up and pray on the mic for their region during the first hour of the prayer meeting.  They often pray for specific students, groups, or universities by name.  The students involved in Luke 18 know that every Sunday at 8pm they can tune into the webstream and see and hear their mentors and others at IHOP praying for them, their prayer meetings, and their campuses.  It's very encouraging.

My team was having some trouble with their in-ear mixes, though.  Not sure what was up.  It sounded great in the room, though.  And it seemed like nearly everyone was engaged in the worship songs.  Sometimes I was having a hard time hearing Audra and the other singers over everyone else in the room singing and clapping.  That's an awesome, awesome problem to have.

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Please keep college students in your prayers this week.  Summer is fast approaching (and is already here for many of them).  While the break is often well-needed rest, it is also easier to slip in your walk with the Lord with so much extra time suddenly on your hands.  Please keep these students in your prayers, that they will not take a break from their prayer life or walk with the Lord while they take a break from school and structure.

Actually, please pray for me, too.  Beginning June 1, many of my prayer room hours running sound will be done, as there is some major infrastructure change coming to IHOP's "Justice Prayer Room."  I would like to use the extra time to find a part-time job that would help with the bills and such.  I also need to rework my "prayer room" and "service" hours accordingly.  Please pray for a good schedule, and for the Lord's provision.  And pray that I will keep First Things first.

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Romans 12:10-12 (New International Version)
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 

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And on that note, I'm going to make lunch and watch Star Wars...